AM
by Epochal Eclipse
Summary: It was 3 am and he was alone in his head, his broken thoughts swirling around his mind./ Superboy spends a night thinking about his relationship with Kaldur. ConnerxKaldur/SuperboyxAqualad M just in case.


**A/N:** This was meant to be a little drabble, but instead turned into a small one-shot. Not sure why I wrote it, as I'm more of a SuperRobin/Superdick fan, but SuperboyxAqualad is cute. I might make a sequal to this, not sure.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash, meaning boys loving up other boys. Also, I'm a firm believe in top!Superboy bottom!Aqualad, even if the 'sex' is kinda vague-ish in here. If you have problems with either of these issues, please go back now.

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><p><strong>A.M.<strong>

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><p>Conner couldn't tell whether he liked moments like these or hated them. It was two AM, and he was together with someone and alone in his head. His eyes saw everything easily in the dark, his ears catching the sounds of cars and footsteps. Some people were home but still awake, moaning and screaming in ecstasy. He wondered how twisted it was of him to listen to people having sex, no matter that his control on his hearing was lacking. And the self-deprecation would begin, and his blood would boil, and he'd force himself to take a deep breath and concentrate on the warm breaths heating his naked chest.<p>

The dark body clung to him, and even in sleep that embrace was edged with desperation, as though he was afraid he'd wake up one day and Conner would not be there.

What word did Robin use the other day? …Ah. Irony.

Kaldur's arms were wrapped tightly around Conner's torso, his head right above his heart. Below the covers, their naked bodies were tangled together, and the clone could feel a stickiness from earlier, memories shooting up into his fragmented mind. Of Kaldur sprawled out on his back, his legs spread apart like some kind of whore, but only a whore for him.

Conner would never forget the way Kaldur looked at him every time the Atlantean was like that. Those pale, so very pale, green eyes would carry the heat and harshness of lust, but also so very soft with unconditional love and adoration, so gentle and sincere with his devotion. And every time, as Conner leaned over him and took what was offered and gave as much back as he could, a question would repeat in the back of his head – _why?_

The question never made it past his lips, but Kaldur could always read him like an open book, and say so sweetly _I want you in me_, and Conner could only oblige the single person that made him feel like more than the weapon he had been designed to be. And while Conner was slamming into his lover, the darker boy would hold him close, and writhe and moan and softly say _I love you, I love you, I love you_, over and over again like the most sacred of mantras.

Nearly two years. Nearly two years of being together. People had been surprised, of course. They all had thought that Superboy would end up dating Miss Martian, and to be fair, he had humored the thought for a short while. M'gann was kind and pretty, and he was sure she would have made a wonderful girlfriend.

But it was Kaldur that actually understood him. It was Kaldur that helped him when no one else could or would. Kaldur with his patience and wisdom showed the weapon that there was more to life than being strong, and that it wouldn't make him weak to let go of that anger. Kaldur that showed him how to laugh and forgive, how to hold on and let go, how to love and let himself be loved. Only Kaldur that believed in him when no one else would and when he needed it the most.

But now it was 3 am and he was alone in his head, his broken thoughts swirling around his mind. There was a melancholy tugging at his soul, a warning that this would have to end. He didn't know why, but it was a necessity. At first, he just pegged it on his insecurities, but then the dreams started.

Those cursed dreams that had started to come every night for the last month. They always started out the same.

_His mind was screaming at him to stop, to snap out of it, but he couldn't. No matter how much he tried to restrain himself, his fist kept colliding with flesh. The city around him was in shambles, and the beaten and barely alive forms of his teammates littered the rubble._

_Both of Robin's arms were broken, lying at odd angles, drifting in and out of consciousness. He was sure Kid Flash's spine was broken. Miss Martian was out cold, blood mixing in with her hair. As for Artemis…it would be a mercy if she died quickly. And Kaldur…_

_Kaldur was in front of him, the only one left standing. Superboy was sure his lover's hand was broken, along with a few ribs. Numerous cuts and gashes were etched over his body, drizzles of blood staining the ground. Bruises in the shape of large hands and fists were forming. He could barely stand. But his eyes…his eyes were the worst. They weren't filled with anger or disgust. No, they reflected sadness and desperation._

_"Superboy, snap out of it! Please, please Conner, I do not…I do not want this! I do not want to fight you anymore! Please, my love…"_

_And Conner rushed forward and wrapped his hands around Kaldur's throat and slammed his head into the concrete, choking him as he repeated the process. He stared with apathetic eyes as he beat Kaldur to death, specks of blood hitting Superboy in the face, and inwardly the clone was screaming in pain and grief at his actions long after Kaldur had stopped breathing._

As for the second and only slightly better, in Conner's eyes, ending…

_Conner lunged at Aqualad, his mind begging his body to stop. Three bangs echoed loudly through the air, and Superboy only had a moment to register the horror in Kaldur's eyes before he fell face down._

_Waves of agony spread through his body, and his mind was torn between relief at regaining control and confusion. He had been shot?_

_"What…?" he asked weakly, and ending up coughing, the blood burning as it came up his throat._

_Realization hit. Kryptonite. Kryptonite bullets._

_"Conner!"_

_He could hear footsteps rushing towards him, and felt shaking hands roll him over on his back and causing a wave of dizziness to hit. He could feel a familiar hand cover the gun wounds as though trying to stop the blood flow. His eyes finally focused onto a pair above him._

_"Conner, hold on, it will be alright!" Kaldur tried to reassure him despite the crack in his own voice, the darker boy trying to stay calm like the leader he was._

_Superboy tried to talk, to tell him that he was right, that he would be okay, but when he tried, only a gurgle sounded in his throat, blood trickling out the sides of his mouth. It was getting dark around his vision, and it was getting harder to hear._

_"No! Be strong, my love! Just a little longer!"_

_Superboy couldn't make out anything Kaldur was saying after that, and he vaguely noticed that Kaldur was crying. He tried to move his hand to wipe them away, as it was wrong to see Kaldur like that. But it was futile, and all became dark._

Conner didn't want to die. He especially didn't want to hurt his friends and kill the man that made up his entire world. He tried telling himself it was just a dream and that it wouldn't happen.

But then why did it feel so damn real? He could even feel Kaldur's pulse as his hand was wrapped around his neck…

"Conner?"

Conner looked down at the drowsy calling of his name to see those pale green eyes looking at him in slight concern. Superboy must have tightened his grip and that woke him up. Or Kaldur was just reading him, even asleep, and woke up.

"Are you alright? Did you have another nightmare?" the Atlantean asked softly. His calloused hands, a beautifully warm shade of brown, gently caressed the clone's face.

Superboy closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of Kaldur's touch. "I love you," he finally said.

"And I, too, my love," came Kaldur's warm and slightly amused answer.

Conner opened his eyes and stared into Kaldur's. "No!' he said sharply. "I _love_ you!" Panic suddenly rose in him, along with shades of frustration and pleading. Kaldur had to know how important he was to him, that he was everything.

The other male had been ready to soothe him when he seemed to understand. A trace of fear leaked into the green eyes. _Please do not leave me_, was their plaintive request.

Conner pressed a soft kiss to Kaldur's lips, and he felt the panic bleed out of himself as well as his lover. It was too strange to see him anything but serene and collected.

When they parted, Kaldur pressed another kiss to his cheek before resting his head above Conner's heart, assured that the clone would stay.

"We are fine," Kaldur said, now calm again, and with hints of determination.

Conner closed his eyes. It was four AM and he was alone in his head, but not in his heart. And he would never forget that. Both Kaldur and he knew that they would always love each other. They'd do whatever they'd have to in order to protect each other. Nothing could separate their hearts, and he knew that he learned what love was from Kaldur, and knew that he was the person he was meant to share his life with.

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><p>It was six thirty-seven AM when Kaldur woke up.<p>

Conner was gone.

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><p>.<p>

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**A/N:** ...Yeeeaaaah this was originally gonna end with just a few thoughts of Conner's, but ended up more angsty.


End file.
